Mia’s Chapter 6

There are these rare, impossible moments — like this one — when all three kids are asleep at the same time, and the house goes quiet in a way that feels almost sacred. I stand there for a minute, just looking at them in their little beds, pretending very deliberately that I do not see anything else in this room. Because right now, it’s just them: Colton, Trace, and Ellie, finally still, finally soft, finally not actively trying to shorten my lifespan.

Colton, my oldest by a week, sleeps like he fights: sprawled out, fearless, taking up more space than physics should allow. Trace, my middle by a single day, curls in on himself, peaceful and self‑contained, like he’s trying to take up as little space as possible. And Ellie, my baby, tucks herself into the corner of her bed as if she’s trying to stay close to someone even in her dreams.

Most of the time I’m too busy chasing them, feeding them, or preventing them from climbing something structurally unsound to really see them like this. And when I do, I get this weird little pang — like maybe I’m catching a glimpse of who they’re turning into. Or maybe I’m just delirious from lack of sleep. Hard to say.

Either way, they’re small and sweet and quiet right now, and I’m choosing — with great intention — not to look down at the floor. I’m taking the moment. I know it won’t last.

The quiet lasted maybe four minutes. Five, if I’m being generous.

Because the second they woke up, all three of them shuffled toward the potty like tiny, confused commuters, and then immediately began foraging for food like I hadn’t fed them in days. Colton was already back to wandering the house naked — because of course he was — and it’s his birthday, which you’d think might inspire him to put on pants, but no.

He marched into the kitchen with everyone else, completely unclothed, looking for his birthday cake like this was a perfectly normal way to greet the morning.

The cake was ready, so Oliver helped naked Colton blow out the candles. I’m choosing not to think too hard about the hygiene implications of that. Colton, meanwhile, was thrilled — absolutely vibrating with pride — and ready to show everyone he was a big boy now.

Ellie, sweet, sensible Ellie, asked if maybe he should put on clothes first. He ignored her, obviously, but eventually wandered off to get dressed while she stayed in the kitchen with Oliver and the flash cards.

Finally, Colton was fully clothed and looking surprisingly presentable. He rolled Hot‑Headed — because of course he did — and took the motor aspiration. He also likes fitness, which means I now have a child who can run faster when he’s angry. Wonderful.

We rearranged the room after that, putting the bassinet and Colton’s crib into storage. He’ll be sharing the big bed with Trace once Trace ages up, and Ellie will get her own bed. The house keeps shifting around them as fast as they’re growing.

Oliver had a moment where he got sad — something about missing out on fulfilling his wants — and then immediately swung into angry because he wasn’t getting to do anything he wanted. Honestly, relatable. He read to Trace to calm down, and that seemed to help both of them.

While Colton was getting dressed, I slipped downstairs and finally invented the wormhole generator. I’m not testing it tonight — I’m exhausted, the kids are exhausted, and I’m not risking getting abducted again before I’ve had at least six hours of sleep. Tomorrow, though… tomorrow I’m going to see where it goes. For now, it’s bedtime. Again. Always.

After the birthday chaos settled, I finally got around to hanging the kids’ birth certificates next to the family portrait. It felt weirdly official, like I was pinning up evidence that yes, all three of these tiny tornadoes really did come from me. The wall looks nice, though. Very “we’re a real family” if you ignore the rest of the house.

Trace babbled something at Ellie — he always tries to talk to her first thing in the morning — but she was not having it. Not until she’d eaten. I’ve learned not to engage with Ellie before breakfast unless I want to get my feelings hurt.

Colton had his first day of school coming up, so I helped him with his homework. He was surprisingly focused for someone who spent his toddler stage naked. Maybe the birthday cake gave him temporary clarity.

The toddlers wandered off to the playhouse after that, and Ellie perked right up once she had food in her system. Amazing what breakfast can do for a person’s entire personality.

I went downstairs to the lab to get a little work done, and somehow Trace managed to track me down the entire staircase. I don’t know how he does it — it’s like he has a built‑in Mia radar. He toddled over, arms up, wanting a hug and attention. And I wanted to give it to him, I really did, but I was in the middle of something and… I didn’t. I told myself I’d make it up to him later. I probably won’t, but the intention was there.

Meanwhile, Oliver was angry again. And before you ask — yes, I turned wants and fears off. Because of Oliver. I love him, but I cannot live in a house where one grown man is having a full emotional crisis every twelve minutes because he didn’t get to do something he “wanted.” I already have toddlers for that. Actual toddlers. I don’t need a fourth one with alien DNA and adult strength.

I thought Colton had grown out of the whole “my siblings get more attention than me” thing, but no — he’s still sad about it. Constantly. It’s like a hobby for him. He’ll be perfectly fine one minute, and then the second I look in the general direction of another child, he acts like I’ve personally betrayed him on a spiritual level. I swear, the boy can sense affection in the air like a smoke alarm detects heat. If I so much as think about hugging someone else, he materializes out of nowhere with that wounded little face, like, “How dare you.”

And then, finally, it was time. We packed up the kids and headed over to Mara’s place to use the wedding arch. Yes, we brought the kids. Yes, this was a mistake. A big one.

Colton immediately ran off to cry because he wasn’t the center of attention. Trace wandered into another dimension — I swear he phased through a wall or something — and took forever to reappear. Ellie was the only one actually watching the ceremony.

And that’s how I got married:
one crying child,
one missing toddler,
one mildly interested toddler,
and a wedding arch borrowed from a dead relative.

Romantic, right?

While we were at Mara’s place — you know, trying to get married while our children staged three separate emotional crises — we stumbled across the headstones for Mara and Derek. Just sitting in the living room. No ceremony, no reverence, just… there. So we brought them home. It felt wrong to leave them behind, like forgetting your keys but worse.

We looked around for Finn’s headstone too, but no luck. It wasn’t anywhere. Maybe it’ll show up one day. Maybe it’s in someone’s inventory. Hard to say. So yes. We got married, collected some headstones, lost a toddler temporarily, and tried to pretend this was all normal.

By the time we finally got home, everyone was starving. So we did the usual routine: open the fridge, let everyone grab whatever they can reach, pretend this counts as a meal.

And then — and I still can’t believe this happened — bedtime came early. Like, early early. Everyone was in bed and asleep by 8 p.m. I don’t know who blessed this house, but I’m not asking questions.

All right, it’s Family Update time, which basically means I’m sitting here trying to remember who’s alive, who’s married, and who’s had how many babies while also keeping one eye on my own children so they don’t set something on fire. Again.

First things first: turning MCCC back to defaults actually worked. The game hasn’t frozen once, which feels like a small miracle. We’ll start turning things back on once Ellie takes over the challenge — assuming I survive long enough to hand it to her.

Anyway. Here’s where the extended family stands. And yes, I know most of this already, but my brain is mush and this is more for my sanity than anything else.

Deceased: Mara and Derek, and Finn.
Still weird to say that out loud.

Finn’s kids — Hassan, Uriel, Ikra:
No marriages, no kids, just living their lives.

Emily — married to Karen Golden.
They’re doing fine.

Emily’s kids: Tianna, Kendall, and Keenan are still in school.

Evan is married to Corinne and has a son (Edgar) with Toni Lewis. Corinne is the daughter of Lionel Cotton. Yes, that Lionel. I didn’t even know he had a family.
I don’t know how Evan has the energy for all that, but congratulations to him.

Brice — married to Rylie Golden.
Also has two kids with Kassandra Foy: Kristen and Reid.
This family tree is starting to look like a plate of spaghetti.

Lacey — now an elder.
Meanwhile Emily is still an adult because she’s been pregnant approximately every five minutes.
Lacey married Braden Dias. Her previous husband must have died — he was an elder last time I checked, so… yeah.

Ava — married Panagiotis Dias.
They have a daughter, Haeju.
Trent is still in high school, doing whatever high schoolers do.

Trinity — still married to Lillie.
No new kids.

Sienna — married to Harold Pancakes.
They have one daughter, Hazel, and one son, Hassan.
Yes, Pancakes. I’m choosing not to comment.

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